Childish Insults I Should Use More Often

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a child at heart. I have jumped through car windows at work because I wanted to mess around. I make random noises even when people are around. I am an air guitarist extrordinaire. And yet, these insults have not come out of my mouth. Ever. Therefore, I’m going to make it a goal to use these.

1. Assbutt

I heard this from Jimbo Jones (pictured right) from The Simpsons, and immediately thought it could be the best insult ever. First of all, nobody ever uses it, despite the brillance. Therefore, nobody will see it coming, and if pulled off right, may grab the hearts of everyone around you, even the insulted. Second of all, it fits into the redundancy of an insult. I’m sure you’ve used “stupid idiot” many times, and this is the same. It only hammers in the point.

2. Dickweed

This one is, while more common than assbutt, less common as an insult. It’s understandable. Most insults involving dick or cock involve either fellatio or the head (body part). Dickweed, on the other hand, in a literal sense, pubic hair. We don’t have any pubic hair insults. And considering a lot of people shave or trim pubic hair, you can see how this could hit someone lower than dickhead.

3. Buttmunch

We have a lot of anally related insults. Fudgepacker, ass pirate, etcetera, but buttmunch is rare, as it is one of the few that includes rim jobs. While anal sex is accepted these days, rim jobs aren’t. So basically, it’s a lower level of slut.

Now that I’ve gotten out three (because my imagination is insanely dead), I want you, the reader, to name me more childish insults! The top three get a special car design on Forza 3 (if they want it)!

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~ by The Slurpee Man on November 4, 2009.

One Response to “Childish Insults I Should Use More Often”

  1. I’d like a special design for Forza, although I haven’t played it in a month. ummm…

    cheesenoggin. I just invented it. Stinky/Moldy cheesenoggin.

    Cheers,

    – Bao (baomon3 on xbox)

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