What’s the Video Game World for Me?

There was a discussion somewhere about the video game world that you’d like to be re-incarnated in after you die. I had a short answer ready, but then I started thinking about the cons of each world. Which made me think further about the options.

First one was the Pokemon universe. This is obvious for anyone who was a child in the late ’90s. Every kid dreams about being independent of their parents, living on their own. Not only that, but you’re making millions too. Also, the idea of having a group of animal companions with you along the way that aren’t only obedient, but in some cases, completely badass helps. There is nothing wrong with this universe… if you’re 10, that is. But I’m 20, and would like to stay that way. And how many people do you see in the Pokemon world that are over 20 that are normal? Why is that? Because the normal people have jobs, they are fathers and need to raise their kids. Those who aren’t, are either in the Elite Four, or complete creeps. It’s a shame, because it’s one of the only worlds where I can create a bear cavalry (thanks to Ursauring).

A four million dollar supercar for $250 thousand? Im sold!

A four million dollar supercar for $250 thousand? I'm sold!

Then I thought about how much I love cars. and brought up the Forza universe. The idea is brilliant. Not only do I make money for driving, but I can buy as many rare cars as I want. Only one Nissan R390 road car? Not here, we’ll sell you tons! McLaren F1? Millions of those too. Enough that there are a load of people willing to race them. Not only that, but I can tune and paint cars however I want. Hell, I can possibly start a Top Gear clone show of my own too! All sounds good, but then, there are only cars. And not every car either. Want a Nissan GT-R? Sorry, not available. I heard you like Cadillacs, sorry, we only have the CTS-V. There really isn’t enough variety here to want to spend a whole lifetime in this world.

Then, the GTA universe came to mind. Brought in my love of cars with my love of guns and desire to shoot things and make things go boom. Yes, there are cops, but hey, if you get caught, it only costs you $100 and you can start all over again! Get shot up? You’re not dead, you’re just wasted! That ressurection will only cost $100 as well! Sex is everywhere too, and without the STDs. Getting drunk isn’t out of the realm of possibility either. This is perfect… but it’s too close to real life. You’d think that real life is great without all those restrictions that law and death give, but those make life fun and thrilling. It’d come to a point where I’d just get bored, and sit in an internet cafe all day.

And I kept thinking. There were many video game universes to choose from, yet none of them seemed right. Maybe I was just being too picky. Then something came to me. A world so perfect, nobody could disagree that it would fit. The Kirby universe!

Sure, you become this, but listen

Sure, you become this, but listen

This could not be more perfect. You’re a lazy, 8-inch tall… something. But that’s the only downside, and one I can live with. First of all, I can eat as much as I want, in fact, the more I eat, the more I go towards saving Dream Land. And whatever I swallow, I become! And it’s not like my enemies are threatening either. If I felt like it, I could just sleep for a whole day, and nobody would notice. Because seriously, who else was I defending in Dream Land? I forgot one thing, I can fly!

That seals it. If I were re-incarnated into a video game universe, I’d want to be Kirby.

Small update: First of all, with the Forza world, if you throw in Forza 3, the prices have gone to real-world prices, and car selection has grown a bit. Second of all, the Mass Effect world has been grabbing my attention. While there’s still a lot of problems going down in the world, the Reapers, Geth, slavers, pirates, just to name a few problems, it still is awesome enough to get attention. Still wouldn’t be as desirable as the Kirby world, but if I had to maintain a human form, I’d have to choose the Mass Effect world.

~ by The Slurpee Man on October 21, 2009.

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