Fun with Google Autocomplete

Google, what a beautiful site. Within a few clicks, you have most of the information you’ll need. Including what other people are searching for. Actually, you don’t even need to click, we have autocomplete for that. Even if you don’t know what it means, you’ve definitely seen it. Just type one single word in, and Google will include a drop down list of suggestions of popular phrases/word sequences that include that word.

Well, if you couldn’t figure out by now, the internet populace can be pretty stupid. If you need proof, go to YouTube, search any video (they also have autocomplete, but not as fun) and just look at the comments. Any large internet forum can find a few examples of this as well, some more than others.

Anyways, let’s get started here with some common phrases. My first phrase was “why is“. Yeah, see what I saw? Why is a dead pakistani on someone’s couch common enough to get a top 10 mention on Google (which gets 400 million searches per day, just to remind you)? And green poop? Bah, other than those oddities, this was relatively normal.

Next up is “is there“. This one is nothing special except the third result. Guys, a reminder that now even Google is working against you to make you a teenage father. It’s hard to be even more screwed than this. Something that could get some possibly funny results is “oh god“. Some success. Although that first result screams “fake”, it’s still pretty hillarious.

Well, I struck some more gold with “did I just“. Is it really so bad that if we have a medical emergency, we go ask Google first whether it was or not? Do you really need a search engine to determine if you just had a heart attack, rather than calling emergency response? And if you have a miscarriage, chances are that you won’t need to ask Google, because a doctor will tell you shortly after delivery. If he doesn’t, chances are you didn’t.

There are others too. Type in “why do [race/nationality]”, and you’ll get a whole slew of stereotypes. But anyhow, what’s the lesson? I really don’t know. Anyways, I’m going to ask for your help now! You give me a few words that lead to the most humorous autocompletes. The winner gets bragging rights, because I’m too poor to do anything real.

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~ by The Slurpee Man on October 13, 2009.

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